Hello,

I'm mom to Aaron (AJ), born September 24, 2004. AJ was born at 26 weeks, weighd 1 lb and 8 oz. Like all preemie moms, I was also told about all the things that could go wrong with babies born this early. We prayed and hoped for the best.
Three days after he was born, he had his first CT scan. It revealed that AJ had a serious brain hemmorage (grade III on the right and IV on the left). He would most likely have to get a shunt implant. "A what???". We (my husband and I were so dumbfounded!) Anyway, fluid didn't progress really fast and he was growing stronger every day. He was breathing unassisted, but still very small and on an ng feeding tube (inserted through his nostril. AJ received his shunt when he was 2 months old on December 3, 2004. (We had a wonderful nuerosurgeon and the surgery was very successful). We brought him home Christmas Eve (3 weeks after the surgery and 90 days of the NICU, the best Christmas present we could ask for!

In the beginning things were really bad for our baby. The doctors (and nurses) were not optimistic at all of his chances for survival. At 7 days old, the NICU Pediatrician told of that AJ's "lungs were severely underdeveloped and were severely bleeding, he had a hole in his heart, he was maxed out on 5 blood pressure meds at it still was still severely low, he had a severe brain bleed which the neurologists felt like he would never recover from therefore he would always be severely mentally retarded, AND his kidneys had not functioned in the past 12 hours! You should just withdraw care IMMEDIATELY, you need more than a miracle for this baby to live through the next few hours! And anyway, do you want to take care of this kind of child all your life? Withdrawing care is your only option" She also said told his nurse on duty, "let her hold him now because this will probably be the only time she'll get to." OH MY GOD! What did she just say???

It was about 4:30 that afternoon when I was given that speech. The doctor said she would be on duty until midnight so I could let her know (if he lived 'til then). I was at the hospital alone. I was in complete shock and horror. I just cried softly at his bedside. How could this be happening to my prcious baby boy? I just could not wrap my mind around the uncaring words that were still ringing in my ears... my mind...my heart. "You should withdraw care immediately, he won't live, he'll be mentally retarded, do you want to take care of this kind of child the rest of your life..."